What Will I Be Like When I Get Old?
Mendocino Coast (CA)
As I enter the last half of my 30’s, I look back at the things I’ve done, the people I’ve met, and the places I’ve called home and can’t help but think that none of that was supposed to happen. Never in a million years did I think I was going to;
+ Build a bike out of bamboo and ride it from Alabama to California
+ Drive a truck towing a 20ft shipping container around the country
+ Work for myself since graduating from art school
+ Tour 1/3 of Island on a bike
+ Not marry my first love
+ Ran a 50K for the hell of it and with very little training
+ Call ~20 places home for a 3.5 years
+ Start a company
… along with a hundred more surprises and events. But, where are the other big things I should have knocked off my list? I just turned 36—where is the marriage, kids, the steady full-time job, the car, the two story house?
Something I have to remind myself often is that, in life, there is no guide book on how to live. People tend to follow what came before them, completing the same milestones at the appropriate time as their friends and parents. It’s safe, predictable, and familiar. I get it. I completely support those who choose to do this, but perhaps living this way just isn’t for me. Perhaps that’s why I don’t have the other big things knocked off my list.
Some of what my life has become has been premeditated—me making purposeful decisions to shape how I want to live. Other times, it’s me rolling with the punches, being nimble and quick to react to what crazy surprises life throws at me.
Looking ahead towards the last half of my third decade, I’m excited for the possibilities. I have goals and milestones I hope to achieve (which includes marriage and kids), but like previous years, I’m open to what presents itself so that I may experience life to its fullest, controlling just enough to shape the life I want, but leaving room to invite the unexpected.
Would my 18 year old self be happy with my current life today? Where will I be in the next five years and what will I be doing? Will I get married and have kids? What kind of dad will I be? Where will I live? Will I ever live out of a Sprinter van and roam around the world? Will I ever get my tattoo sleeve? What kind of person I will be in the next year, or at 40, at 50, 80?
Over the weekend, Jac and I hung out on the coast, taking in what our beautiful state has to offer. We hiked, laughed, talked, made out, stargazed, drank good beer, laughed again, planned our podcast series, planned more adventures, and made foil packs like they were going out of style… super fun.
With both of us being fans of punk rock, we blasted old bands up and down HWY 1. On our way back to SF, Milo came on with one of my favorite songs, fitting since this weekend was celebrating another trip around the sun.
“Will I do myself proud or only what’s allowed?
What will it be like when I get
What will it be like when I get
What will it be like when I get old?”
